Atheist?

[trickykitty]

I saw this on PostSecret today, and the first thought through my head was, "Then you're not an atheist."

The second thought through my mind was, "Whenever you say, 'Blah, Blah, Blah, BUT...' then you completely negate anything that came before the 'BUT'." We've had this conversation before.

The two thoughts complement each other.

Comments

[trickykitty]

"That got me thinking it's not about me."

Good point. There are times to bring attention to the words being used, but there are other times when it's the reason for the words that are important.

I've learned from reading a book on communication recently that my default is to focus on the semantics and rhetoric rather than the human, emotional part of the conversation. That side of the equation is difficult for me to follow and be a part of, so it's easier to ignore it. Unfortunately, in the past it meant someone making a kind gesture by saying thank you using their religious terminology would have stirred up all kinds of negativity from me, because yeah, I would have turned it around and made it about me and how I am not religious, and therefore the other person shouldn't be using such terms with me. That's not communication - that's a lecture - and I've been noticing how much I'm prone to that after reading about my communication style in that book.

Practicing paying attention to the emotional side of communication is so very difficult for me. I'm trying to find a new balance between my default communication and being able to be more ... uh, the opposite, really. Yeah, it's a work in progress.

Being yourself has implications beyond just communicating. It's not just poly that gets tamped down. Anytime you'd prefer to kick your shoes off versus dressing up in a monkey suit to go to work, that's normal, but society says we have to conform for certain situations if we wish to not get put into a loony bin or jail. It's amazing how much being told to be yourself is actually about being told to follow the rules so that you fit in with your chosen group, whether it be friends, work, neighbors, etc.

[damia]

Found the quote that kept rattling around in my head. It's not that the reason for the words are important - it's that using words that everyone understands is important.

"It's up to the artist to use language that can be understood, not hide it in some private code. Most of these jokers don't even want to use language you and I know or can learn . . . they would rather sneer at us and be smug, because we 'fail' to see what they are driving at. If indeed they are driving at anything--obscurity is usually the refuge of incompetence.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Being able to speak in an easily understood tongue and still get your point across is an art.
I still wouldn't say "Atheist" is the best description of me - but it is an easily understood one. Marketing has taught me that you have to get as much information as possible to an audience that is easily distracted.
Yes, spouting off about the exact nature and diameter of your spiritual self would be more informative. But chances are most people will become disinterested before you get to the point.
That's what I meant by 'it's not about me.'

Good quote

[trickykitty]

LOL - I think we're saying the same thing, but in different ways, which is kind of ironic given the subject matter.

What I've learned from that book on communication styles is that it boils down to being more attuned to the communication styles of others so that I can tailor my speech to fit their style more than my own. They're more likely to understand "correctly" the message being conveyed if I am able to pay attention and meet their communication needs which may be different from mine.

Re: Good quote

[damia]

Ah, yes indeed.
I've recently been realizing that having a full time job that requires me to create stuffs that illicit a specific response, means I've become more attuned to what's motivating people when they talk more than what words are coming out of their mouths.