Honesty versus Diplomacy
May. 19th, 2012 11:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trickykittyThis keeps coming up. Over and over again. It's probably the one thing that I have the most difficult time with. Most times something has gone wrong in my life it's because I was being honest and forgetting about the diplomacy. People ended up hurt because of it, and not least of all me getting hurt as well.
Diplomacy feels like lying. Not saying openly and completely how I am feeling or what I am thinking feels like lying, which actually feels worse than the possibility of hurting someone for being truthful. Not getting something off of my chest feels likea constricted bra (Damn it, Brain, cut it out with the stupid puns!) a massive heavy weight that will never lift and continues to push down until I can't take it anymore.
There's no getting around this. I've tried. I've tried to figure out some way of keeping it to myself and letting it go, but that's impossible for me. The inhibition is simply not there. So, now I'm looking for the middle ground. I'm looking for ways to speak my mind honestly, yet diplomatically. The whole, "Yes, that dress makes you look fat," gets replaced by, "Hm. Maybe you could try and wear the green dress, instead. Yeah, try that on and let me see it."
I don't know if I can successfully implement something like this. I don't know if I can train my mind well enough to inhibit just enough to avoid the accident I see about to occur up ahead. Some people are absolutely amazing at being able to do this, being able to say the right things and in the right way. They don't have to formalize it in their minds - it comes as natural to them as breathing.
Diplomacy feels like lying. Not saying openly and completely how I am feeling or what I am thinking feels like lying, which actually feels worse than the possibility of hurting someone for being truthful. Not getting something off of my chest feels like
There's no getting around this. I've tried. I've tried to figure out some way of keeping it to myself and letting it go, but that's impossible for me. The inhibition is simply not there. So, now I'm looking for the middle ground. I'm looking for ways to speak my mind honestly, yet diplomatically. The whole, "Yes, that dress makes you look fat," gets replaced by, "Hm. Maybe you could try and wear the green dress, instead. Yeah, try that on and let me see it."
I don't know if I can successfully implement something like this. I don't know if I can train my mind well enough to inhibit just enough to avoid the accident I see about to occur up ahead. Some people are absolutely amazing at being able to do this, being able to say the right things and in the right way. They don't have to formalize it in their minds - it comes as natural to them as breathing.
