Nicole (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trickykitty) wrote2010-04-23 10:35 am
trickykitty) wrote2010-04-23 10:35 am
Entry tags:
Family Business
From a call with my mom today:
1) My sister, who's slipped back into doing pot (which for her is a bad thing because she uses it to self-medicate her bi-polar issues), has finally blown up at my father. It was inevitable. He chastised her for wanting to take the boys yet again late in the evening on a school night. Every time she takes them means she probably wouldn't get them back home until ~10pm or later when they should be in bed asleep by 9pm. She blew up yelling about how he didn't have a right to tell her how to raise her children. During the blow up, my sister and father scuffled and wrestled and my sister ultimately pulled a knife on my father. They're both bruised and scratched for the wear. My father has taken the car away from her (I thought that she never needed to have the car in the first place after coming home from jail, mostly because I saw this entire change in behavior coming from a mile away). She's not at the house by the time my dad gets home, and he's more or less disowned her after the knife incident. She blames my mother for not getting involved and "protecting her from his abuse." Her pot usage and accompanying habits means that she's yelling at the boys constantly for anything and everything, sleeping all day, going out with her friends all night. She refuses to give up custody rights to the boys and just go about her business and just visit on occasion. They don't need this.
2) My grandmother was diagnosed with bone cancer a short while back that's in a few of her ribs. After more testing, the doctors are saying this is it. She can't do chemo or radiation, because the risk of breaking a rib during a nausea/throwing up fit is too great. This is her third bout with cancer (breast cancer and lung cancer previously). If she lives to see the beginning of next year despite her cancer and diabetes it will be surprising.
3) My schizophrenic uncle appeared again. It's the first time we've heard from him in about 2 years. He spent almost an entire day at a Denny's in Arlington before the staff called us. He had a flat tire and left the car at the freeway to go sit at the Denny's. I'm surprised they were able to get a phone number out of him, rather than us hearing from the cops that ultimately would have picked him up. Mom and dad spent a few hours picking him up, Wal-Mart for a tire iron, tire off, back to Wal-Mart for a replacement tire, and then putting the new tire on. The entire time he was talking to himself, giggling, what have you. Yeah, who knows when he last had his pills, let alone took one. He just drove off after the tire was fixed. No thank you. No good-bye. Off in his own little world he went.
Life at the parents' house goes on. Not one bit of this surprises me and I'm more or less numb to any strong emotions regarding any of it, other than a serious gut-wrenching feeling for my nephews and their role in the sister saga.
I'm planning to go over there tomorrow and have my mom re-dye my hair and have movie night with the boys and hug them as close to me as I can.
1) My sister, who's slipped back into doing pot (which for her is a bad thing because she uses it to self-medicate her bi-polar issues), has finally blown up at my father. It was inevitable. He chastised her for wanting to take the boys yet again late in the evening on a school night. Every time she takes them means she probably wouldn't get them back home until ~10pm or later when they should be in bed asleep by 9pm. She blew up yelling about how he didn't have a right to tell her how to raise her children. During the blow up, my sister and father scuffled and wrestled and my sister ultimately pulled a knife on my father. They're both bruised and scratched for the wear. My father has taken the car away from her (I thought that she never needed to have the car in the first place after coming home from jail, mostly because I saw this entire change in behavior coming from a mile away). She's not at the house by the time my dad gets home, and he's more or less disowned her after the knife incident. She blames my mother for not getting involved and "protecting her from his abuse." Her pot usage and accompanying habits means that she's yelling at the boys constantly for anything and everything, sleeping all day, going out with her friends all night. She refuses to give up custody rights to the boys and just go about her business and just visit on occasion. They don't need this.
2) My grandmother was diagnosed with bone cancer a short while back that's in a few of her ribs. After more testing, the doctors are saying this is it. She can't do chemo or radiation, because the risk of breaking a rib during a nausea/throwing up fit is too great. This is her third bout with cancer (breast cancer and lung cancer previously). If she lives to see the beginning of next year despite her cancer and diabetes it will be surprising.
3) My schizophrenic uncle appeared again. It's the first time we've heard from him in about 2 years. He spent almost an entire day at a Denny's in Arlington before the staff called us. He had a flat tire and left the car at the freeway to go sit at the Denny's. I'm surprised they were able to get a phone number out of him, rather than us hearing from the cops that ultimately would have picked him up. Mom and dad spent a few hours picking him up, Wal-Mart for a tire iron, tire off, back to Wal-Mart for a replacement tire, and then putting the new tire on. The entire time he was talking to himself, giggling, what have you. Yeah, who knows when he last had his pills, let alone took one. He just drove off after the tire was fixed. No thank you. No good-bye. Off in his own little world he went.
Life at the parents' house goes on. Not one bit of this surprises me and I'm more or less numb to any strong emotions regarding any of it, other than a serious gut-wrenching feeling for my nephews and their role in the sister saga.
I'm planning to go over there tomorrow and have my mom re-dye my hair and have movie night with the boys and hug them as close to me as I can.
no subject
It hurts my heart to hear about them :-/
You and your family are in my thoughts quite often, btw.
no subject
The boys are good and take it in stride, but it also bugs me when during a movie night the little one starts crying because he misses his mommy, and in my mind I'm just glad she not there to be yelling at them.
no subject
Both boys have you and your parents. This means far more than having people around to take care of their physical needs. I know you know this, and I know that you think it isn't enough.
But as one of those kids who used to cry for her own fucked up mommy I know that for these boys, having the rest of their family around them means they don't have to shut parts the part of themselves down to keep everything else from falling into the hole that a mother who can't be a mother leaves behind.
in my mind I'm just glad she not there to be yelling at them.
Agreed. The less they learn to equate 'love' with 'taking, giving and forgiving abuse and senseless violence' the better. The more that stuff is imprinted on a young mind the harder it is to shake as an adult.
no subject
I'm glad my sister doesn't have kids. Sounds much like yours, minus the physical scuffles.