Today - Sponsored by the word: Really?

For the first time in weeks I actually woke up with a smile on my face and my brain in a good mood. I've had two days in a row of good news to counter the two separate issues that had me going to sleep in a fetal position on Monday.

Then, Mom calls. <--- famous last words in my life

She was calling to confirm when I was heading out to come help pack up Nani. Right after I take a shower (and make a quick post). I asked if anyone else was coming over to help with the packing, which led to yet another round of bad news.

My eldest nephew went in for overnight psych evaluation yesterday. The little bugger's 8 years old and talking a lot about killing himself. Surprise, surprise, the docs quickly identified my sister, BD1, and BD2 as the primary culprits of his behavior. (duh) He's going to be doing about 2 weeks worth of one-on-one and group counseling. My sister and dad will be going to see him, so mom and I will be the only ones doing the packing today. This is the one that I bonded so closely with when he was born - I'm sure this will hit me pretty hard once I stop being in Emergency Take Care Of Family mode.

There is a huge part of me that regrets that I never took over the care and raising of my nephews. That I never saved up to buy a house and move them in to give my parents some peace. This is a thought that creeps in every so often, and I feel so horribly selfish for leaving it all up to my parents. At the very least, it hits home that I haven't been around to visit them as often as I feel like I should.

Nani's home health nurse isn't scheduled to be back until Monday, so Mom is yet again spending the weekend over there. I'm going to try and send her away for a few hours while I do some of the packing today, and probably a bit tomorrow as well.

So, that good mood I woke up with? Well, it's still trying to hang in there, but yeah, it's feeling a bit fleeting at the moment.