4AM and all is well

[trickykitty]

So, I managed to plummet head first into a mental tailspin over the course of the past month or so due to various things popping up. It culminated in a mental breakdown last night that apparently included waking up this morning by screaming from a nightmare. The details are irrelevant.

Today I spent a couple hours walking around my old favorite park near my parents' house. It was such a beautiful fucking day today, and I'm so glad that the breakdown forced me to enjoy the wonderful weather. The first circuit of the walking trail was spent just counting steps and trying to get my mind to quiet down from all the internal mad chatter. 2042 is about what I counted. The second circuit was getting back to a good mental place, reminding myself of what I need to do to move forward and out of the brain drain whirlpool.

A good long chat with a friend this evening has managed to get my mind back on track completely.

I feel like my life in this moment could be summarized by a fortune cookie that reads, "Old friends, once lost, now returned."

Why oh why did it have to be a dozen of them at once, though?

I guess that's what I get for finally poking my head up and being social again.

Comments

That's twice in a row you woke up screaming

[disgruntledgirl]

Normally doctors prescribe valium for such a thing but valium works differently on you.
Was Friday that rough?
Will this impact you, me and Shannon hanging out in our little end of the metroplex next year or is it mainly a Dallas crowd situation?

[trickykitty]

No, that was referencing the same Saturday morning. The 4am thing throws it off, but I was still mentally thinking of it being Saturday night, not Sunday morning. Only one night waking up because of a nightmare. Saturday night into Sunday morning was more me not being able to get to sleep, rather than waking up from a nightmare.

Nah, I'll be fine. Just had a lot of stuff running around in my head all at once that had to be dealt with. There were more people I ran into than the ones you are aware of, some other personal stuff that was already plaguing my brain from earlier in the month, plus the stress of upcoming holidays and job change planning. It was just a culmination of random things all at once.