Random

[trickykitty]

My week of smoking turned into a month of smoking. Now the cigarettes are making me ill, which is a good sign. I only really smoke like this when I'm needing the self-medication to counter my emotional issues. Then I stop as abruptly as I started. It's really not the best reaction to my brain getting itself tied up in a lurch. Co-worker to whom I gave the remainder of my current pack doesn't believe me when I say I'm done, even though he's seen me go from not ever smoking to occasionally bumming a cigarette, to suddenly a pack every other day. He doesn't believe I can stop like that, even though I actually do this all the time.

I did receive an e-cig and a couple of flavors for my birthday, so if I do have any cravings for nicotine, I'm set. The thing about the e-cig, though, is that it doesn't produce the head rush that regular cigarettes do, which seems to be what I'm going for when I have a regular cigarette. The e-cig is more like smoking a hookah, which I have only done a couple times and only for the flavor than any sort of craving.

I've been neglecting my elliptical workouts. I just haven't really had the energy. At some point, I also need to take that thing apart and see if I can figure out what's causing it to make noises instead of running quietly like it did when I first bought it.

I've got about three or four months worth of mail, bank statements, and receipts stacking up on my desk that I've been lazy about posting into my budget program. The shredding has also stacked up on the shredder.

I have pictures that I've been meaning to download and post of recent projects. In the meantime, I've been getting home and watching movies and working on my current cross-stitch instead. It's still productive activity, but it's not helping me to mark things off of my to-do list.

I'm trying to psych myself up to get back into writing towards a book idea I have. I HATE trying to write these ideas down on paper or type them up on the computer. I've downloaded a voice recorder app for my phone, so that I can try out dictating. That might at least help with the pacing. My typing can't typically keep up with my thoughts when I start thinking about the book ideas. They're all about A.I., brain processing, sensory processing, etc., so my brain runs way too fast with those ideas when I'm thinking about them. I saw a commercial for Dragon Naturally Speaking last night, and I was so tempted to try that out, but I'm not sure I want to shell out the money for it. If I record myself, then I can still type it out and edit as I go. If I see the computer typing it for me and it gets it wrong or something, that's just one little bit more that will break up my train of thought while trying to get the ideas out.

"So, sirls Chinese box ... damn it that's not how sirls is spelled ... where was I ... sirls Chinese box was sirls attempt at debunking the touring test ... oh for fuck sake ..."