Do you ever imagine?
Apr. 14th, 2009 05:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trickykittyI'm sitting here on my bed working on company stuff (damn pesky annual tax thing). I hear a loud noise outside my window. It's like a rumbling sound. Could have been thunder except for the exceptionally clear skies. It could have been a large passenger airplane flying overhead just a bit close. It could have been a vehicle of some sort with a really loud engine roar on the streets nearby.
I know these things, but it still doesn't keep my brain from instantly wondering that the sound might be the rumbling of a nuclear blast after hitting Fort Worth (or possibly Dallas, but I'm a bit closer to FTW). I imagine as the sound grows louder that it is the approaching wave of death and destruction. I brace for radiation to start catching my surroundings on fire before the blast blows it all into dust. I watch the kitty sleeping peacefully next to me and briefly wonder if she has any idea what's coming. I know she also hears the sound, for her eyes faintly open and her ears give a nod.
Then the sound fades. The curtain closes. I'm still here. The cat's still here. I wonder had it been a real nuclear blast if I would let out any sounds, or just sit patiently for the 5-10 seconds it would take for Death to arrive at my doorstep.
I know I wouldn't pray. I'm not that kind of person.
I think I would have let out a deep breath. That Sigh Of Knowing. I'd like to think that for a brief moment I would feel peace.
My hair was scorched by swirling flame
My eyes grew dim, my eyes grew blind
Death came and turned my bones to dust
And that was scattered by the wind
- I Come And Stand At Every Door - This Mortal Coil
I know these things, but it still doesn't keep my brain from instantly wondering that the sound might be the rumbling of a nuclear blast after hitting Fort Worth (or possibly Dallas, but I'm a bit closer to FTW). I imagine as the sound grows louder that it is the approaching wave of death and destruction. I brace for radiation to start catching my surroundings on fire before the blast blows it all into dust. I watch the kitty sleeping peacefully next to me and briefly wonder if she has any idea what's coming. I know she also hears the sound, for her eyes faintly open and her ears give a nod.
Then the sound fades. The curtain closes. I'm still here. The cat's still here. I wonder had it been a real nuclear blast if I would let out any sounds, or just sit patiently for the 5-10 seconds it would take for Death to arrive at my doorstep.
I know I wouldn't pray. I'm not that kind of person.
I think I would have let out a deep breath. That Sigh Of Knowing. I'd like to think that for a brief moment I would feel peace.
My hair was scorched by swirling flame
My eyes grew dim, my eyes grew blind
Death came and turned my bones to dust
And that was scattered by the wind
- I Come And Stand At Every Door - This Mortal Coil
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-14 11:16 pm (UTC)It's always the same, I just stare for a while and then start panicking trying to think "Where is |__name of person I want to talk to__|??"
Think maybe my fear isn't dying in the boom, it's not getting to say goodbye to someone.
I hate that dream.