Decision Time

[trickykitty]

I had been fretting over this for a while, and this evening I finally made up my mind.

Grad school will be put off an extra year.

I've been avoiding this decision for so long that the past two weeks have been hell on my system while trying to race the clock and prepare applications for next fall. After a long heart-to-heart I realize that I'm pushing too hard to convince myself that I must apply NOWNOWNOW without truly feeling comfortable or ready for that decision.

This does not mean that I will not be going to grad school. It just means that I will be putting off applications until next fall so that I can be prepared to start grad school in the fall of 2010, rather than in 2009. I still have too many extra-curricular things that I want to work on and accomplish before jumping in to grad school, and those thing have been put off for way too long as is. I also still do not feel like I have enough understanding of the various research options available at each potential school that I've been looking in to.

So, this year will be all about finishing up some unfinished business (ha, ha, I just had to say that), perhaps taking on a couple of long-term projects that I've been putting off, and doing further research into the potential grad school programs.

No more procrastinating, damn it.

Comments

This is good to hear.

[vadania.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're taking your time with this. This also means we can be grad school application buddies this summer. :)

[whisperer12.livejournal.com]

Such worry, stress, and concern. No wonder you haven't been sleeping well. You will know when it is time to go to grad school. And then again, you may never go. And that is perfectly ok. You will still be the best friend, mother, wife, teacher, cook, silly-time happy-face maker you can be. And you will always find people in your life who remind you that you are special and are loved. Trust me, I've screwed up so many times and in such predictable ways that some of my friends and family are beginning to wonder if I'm damaged goods. But even tho, they still remain true and serve as reminders that love is really what we are all looking for. You are one of the most intelligent people I've been lucky enough to meet, and I admire your abilities. But at the same time I see you as simply another soul wrestling with life, and in this, at least, I may have something to teach. I remember fondly our time together and I'd love to get to know you and your friends better. It has been a long time since I've had a chance to hang out with a hive of brilliant minds. But I've never gotten an invitation, nary a call. And so it is with the hope that it will return that I send you this love. And no, I'm not hitting on you. :)