Half-Drunk and Leading to Nowhere

[trickykitty]

There's this girl I know. I've never met her, but I know her. She had been with her boyfriend for 4 years and he was messing around with me. I was a distraction or perhaps a last call. Either way, there were nights when he was only with me. It was great sex. I didn't have a care in the world when I was with him, expect for the damn pictures all over his apartment of them two together the way a couple should really be together. He was searching through the drawers and found her stash of marriage catalogs. "Ah, so that's where she keeps them," he remarked. He knew she had to have them around somewhere, but as he is a guy, he was obviously clueless.

I fell for him. I couldn't help myself. There was something about him that really worked. I look back now and realize that what I was seeing was the residual him that was left over from her. It became obvious that he would never let go of her. I'm still not exactly sure why, but I was putting pieces together based on what he said when he spoke of her. My guess is they were in a car accident in which he was driving drunk and it landed her in the hospital. Enough clues lead in that direction and so I'm sticking with it, since that's a good enough story for it to make sense in my mind.

Surely she had to have known. Who stays up in the library studying and working on a paper with classmates until 3am? He told her this lie while he was holding my hand as we sat in his car in front of a Bennigan's after having dinner and a few drinks with another classmate and his girlfriend. Nothing had happened prior to that night. But there was something in the air while we ate. I saw him in a different light. We talked after dinner while standing by our cars shivering from the chill in the air. The conversation seemed to have gone on forever with neither of us making any attempt to leave. At least no real attempt that is.

Yeah, I know this girl. I know where her heart was and where her head might have been if she had even an incling of a clue at to what was going on. I doubt she did though. I heard him talking to her that night and realized she must be the dumbest blonde ever. I told him once he had hung up that I could figure everything about her out just from that couple-minute conversation. His curiosity piqued and so I told him what I thought. He said I was probably dead on.

At the time, I hoped that she never knew. Now I wonder. I have this feeling inside that tells me she knew all along. That she's smarter, at least in regards to him, than I originally thought. And then it makes me wonder further. How did she stand it? How did she put up with it? I'd like to think that they soon got married and lived, not happily-ever-after, but just in the way that married couples live. I still wish that I could one day sit down and have a conversation with this girl and ask her how she did it.

Comments

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

I tried to fall for someone I was helping cheat. Couldn't do it, though she fell for me a bit. I can never do it because I know if we ran away together our happily ever after would last until she got bored. Then she'd cheat on me. Such thoughts made me respect the person less, at times. Seems rather hypocritical, hating cheaters, never cheating, yet laying in bed covered in sweat with a woman while she talked to her husband was perfectly okay. Takes a while to realize it isn't okay, and that it twisted me up too. Made me start to disrespect women less, made me start to hate my ideal of love, since anyone I could find would be a cheater, someone who would lie to my face and fuck around with some other guy, then come home to me as if everything were all right. There's usually very little way to have a sexual relationship with someone and not have some sort of emotional involvement (for me, at least, maybe others can do it). Throwing that kinda crap into the mix... not fun.

You want to ask the woman... I'd want to ask you, me, and others how we did it.

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

to respect women less, not disrespect. Dur-hey.

Any other mistakes should be treated with similar Dur-hey attitude. It's early, not all my dogs are barkin'

[40hex.livejournal.com]

I decided long ago (never to walk in aanyone's shadow *SMACK* Enough of that!) that going out with someone who was willing to cheat on their current partner was pretty stupid, because they'd just cheat on you too.

[smokedamage.livejournal.com]

that does seem to be the general rule - if s/he is willing to cheat for you, then more than likely s/he will be willing to cheat on you