Holding On

[trickykitty]

How does one let go of something they hold on to so steadfastly? Yes, for those who know me I have issues which are bringing this up, but I'm asking in general from a philosophical standpoint. I know there are stages of death and I would think that those stages would apply in this instance. Mostly because death comes in many forms and fashions.

How does one "let it go and if it's meant to be it will come back"? It seems that the waiting would be unbearable and so you would want to just give it up completely.

Comments

[40hex.livejournal.com]

Ooo deep :)

I honestly don't know enough about you to really comment though. :(

[trickykitty.livejournal.com]

That's why I wanted to discuss it philosophically. I don't really want to discuss anything specific.

[40hex.livejournal.com]

Yeah but that's where I could get myself into trouble :)

I actually started typing up a reply, but then I realised you could be talking about anything from suicide, through lending someone money, to deciding to have chilren; so my normal philosophy of "go for it" could be very dangerous.

My opinion summed up: You sometimes have to let things go. But if you're afraid you'll never see it again, and that's not something you're prepared to handle, you probably shouldn't.

(veers wildly off topic)

You know the old saying "If you love something set it free, if it doesn't come back to you it wasn't yours in the first place"? This conversation reminds me of a thug schoolboy variant on the same that made me left when I heard it many years ago...

If you love something, set it free.
If it doesn't come back to you, HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT!

[surreptitious.livejournal.com]

The waiting is unbearable. But rather than give it up, I remember that things are going to be really amazing when it's all resolved. That's what helps me: optimism!

It's not easy, and sometimes being pessimistic gets the better of me...and of course it hurts. But after a while you get into a sort of groove, and you distract yourself (maybe pick up a new hobby? knitting is fun :) ) and things get a little easier.

I guess what it comes down to is optimism (and understanding that sometimes optimism can flag for a little) and time.

[trickykitty.livejournal.com]

"I remember that things are going to be really amazing when it's all resolved."

Hm. You bring up an interesting point which I would agree with if phrased perhaps differenly. The idea that things are going to be amazing afterward stems from the hope that things will go back to how they once were. Afterall, you wouldn't be bothered with something that wasn't amazing to begin with; you'd just let it go in that case. I think that much optimism, at least in my case, has a strong potential of setting one up for major disappointment and perhaps heartache.

If rephrased into something like "there's a reason for this, this too will pass, and life always have a way of working itself out in the end", then I think that's a healthy dose of optimism without the consequences of failure attached.

[surreptitious.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't assume that things will resume exactly as they were before; that really is a recipe for failure. That said, it's entirely possible for things to be amazing even if they're not the same as they were before. What's important is not losing sight of the core of it all, rather than the trappings that surround it.

*shrug*

[smokedamage.livejournal.com]

philosophical.

would we even know happiness if we were never sad.

[trickykitty.livejournal.com]

The naive seem happy and children seem happy.

I think you can never actually "know" happiness without sadness, yet you can still "feel" it without having felt sadness. Once you have felt sadness, then you become better able at understanding and appreciating the thing called happiness which you felt before.

[isotripy.livejournal.com]

You just do it, and dont think to much about it, distract yourself.

[trickykitty.livejournal.com]

I think you said in a nutshell kind of the whole sentiment that I posted in the response to surreptitious above.

[trickykitty.livejournal.com]

(after all, I think all of life is just passing from one distraction on to another with the idea that it will all work out in the end)