Just Completely Lost

[trickykitty]

Graduation will not be in May. Due to not having a job, I held off on registering for my last class until I knew that I would be able to pay for it. I weighed my options and decided a couple weeks ago to go ahead and register and use the money from my savings to pay for the class. Unfortunately, all of the capstone classes are full and closed for the spring semester. I received word back from my adviser that there is nothing that she can do to help.

Any and all plans for attempting to apply to grad schools for next fall are now thrown out the window.

I'm trying amazingly hard to think positively, but the world just keeps on throwing curve balls. I just wish I could figure out why in the world my brain won't just let me run away from my AI goals and just settle for something else. I don't feel adequate for what I would like to do and there's no place in the metroplex where I could go for studies and/or training, yet still I just can't let go. There's this huge cramp that fills in my body when I even contemplate giving up. I know I'll take that last class and I'll get my degree, but I feel so totally incompetent and lost regarding my ideas of what I would like to be working on.

I try not to let my situation get the best of me, but I do feel so horribly depressed by each piece piling one on top of the other like stones. I'm trying every day to keep a positive attitude and to keep myself busy and somehow moving forward. I know many people that have situations in their lives so much worse than mine, and I like to think that I'm keeping a healthy perspective. But it still hurts at times.

Comments

Understandable, chica

[disgruntledgrrl.livejournal.com]

It bothers me that despite there being a "nanotech corridor" in Texas, there's very little to offer in the way of AI - which I feel is extremely important for nanotech.


I am confident you will find something. And by something I mean some group willing to back a person thru college during the final touches of AI college stuff in Texas.
(sorry, 9th grade education - I know very little about college other than it's expensive and the rate of actually finishing college amongst my friends is 5%).

Maybe you can get a job at TI and see if they might help. Who knows.
I keep getting the feeling that your counselors are feeling out of their depth with your chosen path.

Re: Understandable, chica

[trickykitty.livejournal.com]

My advisor actually had to have me explain a couple of the courses to her - she'd never even heard of them. Just imagine, if she hadn't heard of the classes, how the hell is she able to give me advice on what classes I should or shouldn't take? Her primary job isn't to advise but to just make sure that I'm following the rules for graduating: x number of science classes, x number of arts classes, etc.