Face Off

[trickykitty]

I have learned tonight that I am not a crusader, nor shall I ever be. What can I say, I'm the most egotistical person on the face of the planet. I ask about how a friend's family member is doing after surgery simply because it is the social thing to do, but unless that person is known to me, then I probably have little feelings involved and little empathy with my friend. I am fluttering around in only those things which concern me directly. Those which concern me indirectly are far from my mind unless my immediate well-being is at stake. If I get involved in a cause it's only because somehow I have been affected by it. Rape, incest, assault and battery, addiction - I understand those. Loosing a close friend or relative - no clue. I've lost a friend and a grandparent, but neither were close to me. So my Spock-like no-nonsense lack o' feelings makes it near impossible for me to sympathize. Maybe I'm just a cold heartless bitch.

Comments

You're not.

[5tephe.livejournal.com]

You just haven't had a reason to empathise that closely.

EVERYONE is like this. Not just you. It's just that once someone has lost someone close, then when they hear of that from someone else, then they get flashbacks, and remember the discomfort. That sparks sympathy.

If one has no experience of a particular sorrow, then one cannot empathise with a person feeling it.

Dont' beat yourself up. We are all evolved to be selfish little apes. Like I say, even the people who are sympathetic are doing so from a recall of their own suffering.

[40hex.livejournal.com]

I do that too - I don't say "Oh you poor thing" because I'm empathising, I say it because I have learnt that it's the appropriate thing to say.

We're all cold heartless bitches :)