it also bugs me when during a movie night the little one starts crying because he misses his mommy
Both boys have you and your parents. This means far more than having people around to take care of their physical needs. I know you know this, and I know that you think it isn't enough.
But as one of those kids who used to cry for her own fucked up mommy I know that for these boys, having the rest of their family around them means they don't have to shut parts the part of themselves down to keep everything else from falling into the hole that a mother who can't be a mother leaves behind.
in my mind I'm just glad she not there to be yelling at them.
Agreed. The less they learn to equate 'love' with 'taking, giving and forgiving abuse and senseless violence' the better. The more that stuff is imprinted on a young mind the harder it is to shake as an adult.
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Date: 2010-04-23 04:47 pm (UTC)Both boys have you and your parents. This means far more than having people around to take care of their physical needs. I know you know this, and I know that you think it isn't enough.
But as one of those kids who used to cry for her own fucked up mommy I know that for these boys, having the rest of their family around them means they don't have to shut parts the part of themselves down to keep everything else from falling into the hole that a mother who can't be a mother leaves behind.
in my mind I'm just glad she not there to be yelling at them.
Agreed. The less they learn to equate 'love' with 'taking, giving and forgiving abuse and senseless violence' the better. The more that stuff is imprinted on a young mind the harder it is to shake as an adult.