3:00am

I feel like a giant is squeezing my torso. I've felt this a few times in the past 5-10 years. The first time was while I was still working at the YMCA. It was so bad I thought I was having a heart attack, so much so that I scheduled to have an echocardiogram and a stress test. Nothing showed up.

Every time it hurts just as badly, and every time I can find no cause. It's as though all the muscles in my torso are cramping up at once, and no stretching or bending can seem to do anything for it.

Now I'm just waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in and hopefully allow me to go back to sleep.

5:00am

So, I managed to throw up because the pain was so bad. I took 2 more ibuprofen to replace the ones I just lost. The pain subsided for about 20min, and I was able to just about get back to sleep. Then the pain came back. I've now taken a Valium, and I'm trying to keep myself from throwing up again just so that I can keep the pill down long enough in the hope that it will do some good. Just sitting here at my computer is making me want to cry. I think this wouldn't be quite so horrible if I at least knew what keeps causing this and a reasonable idea of when it's going to stop hurting, but I have no clue.

Cotard delusion

Our minds are so damned interesting.

Quotes

Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now.

Don't let your fear decide your fate.