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Back To Basics
Sep. 25th, 2011 10:18 pmI've been reminded recently (by my mom, of all people) of how much of a loner I was growing up, never by choice, but by the sheer nature of my being. I've just always been that weird chick that no one else could ever understand and everyone else always guessed about incorrectly.
( This got long )
I've been trying so hard to be someone else, to be a part of a group, to be accepted, that I lost sight of myself. Somehow I never wanted to accept that I'm just that weird chick. Always have been, always will be.
I'm probably going to mar this quote, because the bulk of my books are boxed up right now and I can't access this one currently, but I'll do my best to recount it correctly. Nietzsche, in his intro to The Birth of Tragedy, stated, "This book addressed itself towards a certain type of artist; an artist with intellectual and retrospective (introspective?) leanings. An artist hard to seek, and possibly not worth the seeking."
That's how I thought of myself. I recall reading that intro and finding utter joy in the idea that someone was able to put my essence into words. It made me feel special.
Looking back, that last part of the quote that made me feel special should have been taken as a warning. It's required a lot of living to reach such understanding. Most people don't seek out someone like me, and I suck horribly at doing my own seeking, usually to the point of royally screwing it up because I overdo things whenever I try.
However, there is contentment in being one's self. That other path lies madness. I'm tired of trying to fit in and trying to be more social than I really am. Even if I were to succeed, it's not really the place for me. Give me my intellectual and individualistic pursuits, and I'll be happy.
( This got long )
I've been trying so hard to be someone else, to be a part of a group, to be accepted, that I lost sight of myself. Somehow I never wanted to accept that I'm just that weird chick. Always have been, always will be.
I'm probably going to mar this quote, because the bulk of my books are boxed up right now and I can't access this one currently, but I'll do my best to recount it correctly. Nietzsche, in his intro to The Birth of Tragedy, stated, "This book addressed itself towards a certain type of artist; an artist with intellectual and retrospective (introspective?) leanings. An artist hard to seek, and possibly not worth the seeking."
That's how I thought of myself. I recall reading that intro and finding utter joy in the idea that someone was able to put my essence into words. It made me feel special.
Looking back, that last part of the quote that made me feel special should have been taken as a warning. It's required a lot of living to reach such understanding. Most people don't seek out someone like me, and I suck horribly at doing my own seeking, usually to the point of royally screwing it up because I overdo things whenever I try.
However, there is contentment in being one's self. That other path lies madness. I'm tired of trying to fit in and trying to be more social than I really am. Even if I were to succeed, it's not really the place for me. Give me my intellectual and individualistic pursuits, and I'll be happy.
