Dec. 24th, 2005
I find that I brood over the future. I know what specific things are stressing me out, but when it comes to general brooding it's not so simple. I keep wondering where I'm going to end up and if I'm on the right track and if I'm making the right decisions right now to secure myself tomorrow. This is especially true with money/apartment issues and school/work issues right now. I really do have to make some major decisions in the next month(?) which I really am having a hard time with. But I also know that this wasn't the case a year ago - everything just fit. That doesn't mean that it was perfect, just that it was working out. Now I have to deal with how much past plans are not fitting into the reality of today. I try not to have a defeatest attitude, but I am so damned worried that I just wish I could shut down until sometime when my little part of the world feels right again.