May. 29th, 2005

trickykitty: (Default)
After playing for an ungodly 12 hours that robbed my brain of all thought capacity, we finally went home. I really enjoy the story line which has so many plot webs that it will make your head spin. My hardest part is apparently coming to grips with my character's attitude toward situations. I'm not used to looking through the eyes of someone else. Watching a character on television is much easier to follow because you simply have to empathize with them. Trying to think and say and do like your own character without a script to follow is much more difficult, at least for me just starting out in role playing.

I spent some time talking with [livejournal.com profile] smokedamage last night after the game trying to understand why I was getting frustrated. What was determined is that I have yet to really get inside the mind of my character. This means that when a situation comes up I'm not sure how (my character) should act. I've also learned that if I don't know what the character is feeling or what her general attitude is at that moment, I as the player stumble over what I should say or ask. Nikki's brain becomes a blank slate and my character becomes a mute tag-along which is totally not her personality. So this was frustrating me to no end during the game. The ultimate outcome is me being overly self-conscious, full of stage fright, nervous, and generally not having a good time with the role playing aspect of the game, which considering that IT IS A RP GAME is not a good thing. It has nothing at all to do with how the game is run at all. [livejournal.com profile] koed is excellent and I think the group is finding it's groove.

Taking this logically (as I always do because I'm just a nut case like that), now that I have pinpointed the source of my frustration and defined the elements involved, I have created a plan of action which seems to already be helping. The ideas that Smokey gave me involve understanding how even in real life we each have typical instant reactions to certain situations. I say typical because there is always the elements of mood, tiredness, medicines/drugs/alcohol/etc. which can have major effects. I can walk in to lab and be very cheerful and outgoing and say hi to everyone or be really tired and sickly and try to pass everyone without them noticing me. But unless there is really something wrong with me, I don't go in and start yelling at people and cussing them out and acting like a bitch. What can I say, I'm not much of a bitch in lab. Yeah for passive/aggressiveness. So I need to get some general "templates" in my mind of what my character would do in certain situations. I'll probably spend some time going back over the things that have already played out in the game. I also want to go through my contact sheet and have a pre-conceived idea of how Kiera (my character) typically talks to and acts around those NPC's. Lastly, I have to decide on a level of bitchiness I want for Kiera and stick to it. I think this will give me that launching pad I'm looking for so that I can feel secure which will allow me to relax while playing. It should also help free my brain so that ideas come more freely. I just hadn't been able to settle on one particular style for her yet (unlike [livejournal.com profile] smokedamage who does a great job with his fun-seeking playboy who's running away from familial obligations by being a memeber of the SIU cop team we play on).

So I have a style picked out and I plan on practicing it mentally with the ideas mentioned above. I think I'm feeling better all ready.

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